My grandpa died yesterday. Here’s one of my favorite jokes he told. What are your favorite grandpa jokes? Old Ms.Robinson went out into her backyard to do some gardening when she heard some noise coming from the yard next door. She peered over the fence and saw that her neighbour’s little daughter was digging a…
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’, St. Peter asked. ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman….
I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes? This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize…
A man is showing off his new apartment… After a night at the bar, he brings his friends up, where he has large brass gong and a mallet. “What’s with the gong and mallet?” One of his friends asked. “It’s not a gong, it’s a talking clock,” the man replied. “A talking clock? Seriously?” “Yup.”…
Newlyweds go to Vegas Newlyweds go to Vegas for their honeymoon and the groom says, “Hey baby, lets go to the roulette table and put a grand on red, I am feeling lucky tonight!” Just then the casino gets robbed and the groom is found dead after a massive shootout. A couple of years go…
the new maid A man hires a new maid and calls home to speak to his wife. The maid picks up. “Is this the maid” “Yes” “Well may I speak to my wife?” “Well….she’s in bed with a man” The husband is furious and tells the maid “I want you to go into my desk,…
A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions. The French exchange student raised his hand and said, “Excuse me Madam, but I don’t know how to say fractions. How do you say those?” “Easy,” said the teacher, “you just say the top number…
Frankenstein, the Mummy, and the Werewolf are sitting at a bar Frankenstein takes a big drink and says, “You know, my son has been a handful lately. He keeps borrowing my lab equipment and blowing things up. I just don’t know how to get him to stop.” The Werewolf shakes his head and says, “Tell…
Two lawyers are friends and have lunch with each other They always have lunch in their cramped offices. One day, one of the lawyers said to the other, “We should go downstairs to the deli and have lunch there, there’s much more room.” ​ The other agreed and they went downstairs to the deli. ​…
A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home. As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants. “Here, try these on,” he says. “What? Why?” she says. “Just put them on,” he insists. “They’re way too big,” she says. “I can’t wear those.” “That’s…