Mummy, how was I born? 10-years old girl asks her mum: “Mummy, how was i born?” The mother smiles a replies: “Once upon a time, me and your daddy had a wonderful time so we decided to plant a little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took very good care of it…
Walking hand in hand, a daughter looks up at her father and asks, “Daddy, what did YOU want to name me?” “Zelda honey,” he responded, “I wanted to name you Zelda. But on the night you were born, mommy said there was no way I was naming you Zelda. You see honey, mommy went through…
Four men and their wives are having babies… Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second…
Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her….
Mother in law dies A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. So the couple goes to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150. “We’ll…
A guy is in court facing murder charges The judge says “you’re charged with murdering your wife with an ax.” A guy at the back of the court yells “you bastard.” The judge then says “you’re also charged with murdering your mother in law with an ax.” The guy at the back of the court…
A man finds a genie lamp, rubs it and poof a Genie appears. Genie: I have the power to grant you 3 wishes but keep in mind, whatever you wish, your mother-in-law will receive two-fold… Man: Ok. My first wish is for 1 billion dollars. Genie: Your wish is granted, but keep in mind that…
A mom buys an old parrot from a whorehouse.. A mom buys an old parrot in a whorehouse and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet. As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says “ah, new house!” and she bursts in laughter. Later that day, the…
The old professor started each lecture with a dirty joke. After a real objectionable example of that one day, the female students got together and decided that next time, when this happens again, they will all walk out in unison. The professor got wind of this plot. Next morning, after he entered the lecture hall,…
Irish hooker.. An Irishman was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. ‘Twenty pounds,’ she whispers. Paddy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty pounds. So they hid in the bushes. They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute when all of…