drunk driving. I would like to share an experience with you, which has to do with drinking and driving. As you may be aware, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing…
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened. “First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile,…
A wealthy art dealer is having a drink by his pool when his lawyer calls him… “I’ve got some good news and some bad news”, the lawyer tells him. “Well, I could use some good news, so let’s start with that”, says the dealer. “Your wife has spent ten thousand dollars to purchase two pictures….
Strange lady A waiter noticed a woman stuffing bits of food down her shirt. He thought it was rather strange, but he figured that since it’s her food she could do what she wanted with it. But after a while the waiter noticed that the woman’s behavior was making some of the other patrons uncomfortable….
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed,” she replied. ‘Well, let’s have a look. Strip…
A woman was walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A cop was approaching from about a block away, thinking to himself, “Boy, my eyes must be going. It looks like that woman is hanging out of her blouse.” But, as he got closer, it became apparent that…
The Five Stages of Sex 1st is Smurf sex. This is where you do it until you’re both blue in the face. 2nd is kitchen sex. This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in every room of the house, including the kitchen. 3rd is bedroom sex. This is after you’ve been married for…
Chad’s wife decided to surprise him on his birthday and to show him that she’s a cool wife, she took him to a strip club. At the club: Bouncer: Hi Chad! How you doing tonight? Wife: How does he know you? Chad: We play golf together! Bartender: Evening Chad! The usual? Wife: And how does…
Three drunks enter a taxi the driver immediately notices that they were drunk, and decided to make a quick buck out of them. When they entered the car, he drove 100 meters, made a turn and told them that they arrived at their destination. The first one thanks the driver and leaves. The second thanks…
A man received the following text from his neighbour: I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt…