A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.” Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he…
What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed….
I caught a really bad case of the flu in Madrid. Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help. “Oh, so you’re sick!” came the reply. “Not a problem, we’ll send our very own hotel doctor up to…
Tea is an evil substance. It is much more dangerous than beer. I discovered this last night. I drank 15 beers up until 3 am in the pub while my wife was just at home drinking tea. You should have seen how mad and violent she was when I got home. She threw the chair…
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!” “Everything is bigger in Texas,” says the bellhop. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks…
A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home. As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants. “Here, try these on,” he says. “What? Why?” she says. “Just put them on,” he insists. “They’re way too big,” she says. “I can’t wear those.” “That’s…
Last night, I laid my head on my wife in bed. She said “Why are your ears so cold?” I could feel a pun there but it just didn’t appear. I was frozen. I told her as much. It haunted me all night. In the morning on my hour drive to work, it was in…
The Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty…
What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to…
A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.” the husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out…