Lost my job on the first day Started my new job at a hardware store today. Lasted less than a day. About two hours in, this fat, ugly woman covered in tattoos and piercings storms in with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them the whole way through the entrance. She was loud enough to…
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked. ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young…
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates… ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked. ​ ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a…
A man appears before Gabriel at the pearly gates. **”Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” Gabriel asks.** **”Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman.**…
Patriotism A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital. “How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die,” the soldier said. The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier’s patriotism and said, “I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if…
This punker gets on a bus and takes a seat. His hair’s all green, he’s got brightly colored tattoos covering his arms and piercings all over his face. Feathers hang from each earlobe. Across the aisle sits an old man who proceeds to stare at him for the next fifteen miles. Eventually the punker gets…
So B.B. King’s wife decides to get him something special for his birthday…. Blues guitar legend B.B. King’s wife goes into a tattoo parlor and wants to get B.B. something special for his birthday. She decides to get his initials tattooed on her body. To be even more special, she gets one “B” on her…
A man was crossing the jungle when he got ambushed by a group of natives. They had fearsome tattoos and bloodthirsty expressions in their faces and in front of them their terrible chieftain, a man the size of a mountain. “Well, now I’m fucked,” says the man quietly, when suddenly gusts of wind start blowing…
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’, St. Peter asked. ‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. ‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman….
A man is getting married, and decides to get a tattoo to honor his bride to be He wants to get her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. When he goes to get it done, he finds out that it has to be hard. As a result, his flaccid penis just says WY. On their…