The teacher asks the children in her third-grade class to give her a sentence using the word “fascinate.” Mary raises her hand, stands up, and says, “My Mom and I went to the museum, and it was fascinating.” “That’s very nice, Mary,” says the teacher. But you used ‘fascinating.’ Can anyone give me a sentence…
A guy walks into a bar… …and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s it going?” Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: “Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,…
Boss offers money for sex… A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the…
A woman, her 7 years old and a Taxi driver. A woman and her 7 years old son were inside a Taxi. It was raining and all the twilight girls were standing by the roadside. The Boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?.” His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to…
A young couple, just married, were… in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, who was a big, burly man, tossed his pants to the bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on, but they were way too big. “I can’t wear your pants,”…
An old couple decide to take a second honeymoon… An old couple decide to take a second honeymoon at the same place as their original honeymoon to celebrate their 50th year together. The couple lay in bed when the wife turns to the husband and asks: “When you first saw me naked, what did you…
Two Italian men get on a bus Two Italian men get on a bus. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two…
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there’s no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it’s a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again…
Frustrated gorilla Bubba is working as a carpenter at the zoo. He meets the zookeeper one morning who seems a bit stressed. “It’s the gorilla”, he says. “She’s ‘in heat’, but we don’t have a male gorilla to mate with her, so she’s very agitated. If I could find someone to mate with her for…
Quick thinking A guy tells his wife he has to work late, and takes his secretary to a hotel for some wild sex. On his way home, he notices a huge hickey on his neck and begins to panic. What would he tell his wife? Walking in the door he is greeted by his excited…