A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town. “It’s very state of the art and designed to make shopping a natural and relaxing experience. It has an automatic water mister to keep all the fruit fresh. Just before it switches on, you hear the sound…
Following the advice of his doctor, Mr. Johnson moved to Florida. When he arrived in his new Florida home, Mr. Johnson met his next door neighbour. His new neighbor was a man around his age, but he had a full head of hair and appeared to be very strong. “Hello,” Mr. Johnson said to his…
The genie of the lamp Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor. The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : “Ask what you want” ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea. The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said…
Ok, so my neighbours officially hate me. Me and a few mates were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. So we all went running to see what was up, and our…
This guy, Bob, recently moved to a new ranch, when he heard a knock on the door He opens the door and the man at the door says: “Howdy and welcome to the neighbourhood. I’m Billy and I’m your neighbour from the ranch up the road.” “Well howdy.” says Bob. “Nice to make your acquaintence.”….
Little Johnny’s parents decided to have sex. So to get him out of the house they tell him to go to the balcony and count the number of red cars on the road, Johnny says sure and goes out. After they’ve finished having sex they call him inside and ask him ” So how many…
The Lawyer’s dog A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast…
My grandpa died yesterday. Here’s one of my favorite jokes he told. What are your favorite grandpa jokes? Old Ms.Robinson went out into her backyard to do some gardening when she heard some noise coming from the yard next door. She peered over the fence and saw that her neighbour’s little daughter was digging a…
A man received the following text from his neighbour: I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt…
Ten Commandments God sends his angel to Earth to deliver his Commandments to the people. First the angel visited the Germans: “God has sent me to deliver his commandments”, says the angel. “Give us an example”, say the Germans “Thou shall not covet your neighbours land” “Begone!!!”, say the Germans Next the angel goes the…