A couple of counterfeiters made a mistake one time and ended up with a batch of $15 bills One of them says “We gotta get rid of these things. We’ll go to Florida. I know a little town there. They’re so dumb they won’t know a thing.” So off they go. Soon they arrive at…
Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain. “Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no…
A teenage girl gives birth to twins and puts them up for adoption… She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East. Years later she hires a private investigator to track down her…
A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas… After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window. “What are you doing that for?”, the others exclaim. “Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see…
I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes? This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize…
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God .” No…
A farmer is being interviewed about his cows Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What…
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. “We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said one, “but we don’t have a ladder.” The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and…
A man walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling. He sits down and orders a beer, and asks the bartender “what’s the deal with the steaks?” “It’s a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar….
A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He’s very nervous and doesn’t say much. As the couple approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. He’s full of confidence, incredibly expressive and has everyone in fits of laughter! After the vows, the priest is…