Donald Trump and his chauffeur are driving on a country road. Suddenly, a pig runs in front of the car. The chauffeur has no time to react, so he runs over the animal, killing it instantly. They get out of the vehicle, look around and spot a small farm in the distance. Trump says: The…
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get…
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk…
A priest is sitting next to a drunk on a bus On a bus, a Christian priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read the newspaper. Suddenly, in a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest: “Do you know what arthritis is?” The priest thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the…
A farmer has 3 daughters, each has a date lined up for the night. The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand. The first date shows up and says “Hello sir, I’m Eddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?”. The farmer…
My first time. [SFW] The sky was dark, the moon was high. All alone just she and I. Her hair was soft, her eyes were blue, I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft, Her legs so fine. I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how, but I…
Tom, a successful Real estate developer was 65 and just married Candy, 44 years his junior After they came back from their honeymoon they did a party for all of their friends. At the party one of Tom friends asked him: “Hey man I know you got money and all but how did you land…
So this young newlywed couple is on their honeymoon… They’re both kind of shy about sex, so they make an agreement after their very first encounter. “I’ll tell you what,” she says. “Instead of any awkward requests for nookie, why don’t you just reach over and squeeze my boob three times if you want sex….
This punker gets on a bus and takes a seat. His hair’s all green, he’s got brightly colored tattoos covering his arms and piercings all over his face. Feathers hang from each earlobe. Across the aisle sits an old man who proceeds to stare at him for the next fifteen miles. Eventually the punker gets…
Freudian Slips 2 construction workers are standing at the pub. One of them says, ‘Oh man, I made the worst freudian slip the other day!’ The other one says, ‘Why? What happened?’ The first man says, ‘I was buying a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but the woman working the ticket stall had big boobs. I…