So Barack Obama and Donald Trump somehow ended up at the same barber shop… As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence,…
A man comes to the doctor and asks for a vasectomy. “What, a vasectomy, right now?” asks the doctor baffled. “Yes, i’m a bit in a hurry, my wife is waiting, we want to go shopping and to the movies afterwards and she found it a good idea to get a vasectomy first.” The doctor…
Barbie One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, “How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?” The salesperson answers, “Which one? We have Work-Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie…
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get…
Found this in my timeline… I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I’ve planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre. Now,the…
A husband and wife were grocery shopping … A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asked the wife. “It’s on sale. Only $10 for a case,” he replies. “We can’t afford it. Put it…
Barack & The Donald go to the barber… Barack Obama and Donald Trump inadvertently ended up getting a shave at the same barber shop at the same time. The barbers, wondering if things might get nasty, were nervous. Trump’s barber was almost done and was getting ready to use an after-shave as a final touch….
Is she a virgin? Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a Do-It-Yourself Shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel. Paddy asked, “And what do I…
Welder joke A welder sees an ad for help and a metals shop. $18-$25 per hour. He goes in and asks about the job. They give him some metal to weld and tells him to bring it back when he’s done. The welder brings back two welds. The first one is beautiful. Pristine beads, straight…
Once, a rural guy who cuts wood goes into the city to buy a chainsaw. He walks into a shop and says: “Hey, I’m looking for a machine that cuts wood.” The salesman says: “Perfect. This chainsaw can cut about 30 logs a day.” A few weeks later, the guy comes back angry: “This thing…