Frustrated gorilla Bubba is working as a carpenter at the zoo. He meets the zookeeper one morning who seems a bit stressed. “It’s the gorilla”, he says. “She’s ‘in heat’, but we don’t have a male gorilla to mate with her, so she’s very agitated. If I could find someone to mate with her for…
An atheist dies, and wakes up in an alternate heaven. Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.” As they pass by a gay couple kissing the atheist wonders “Isn’t that a sin?”…
Donald Trump and his chauffeur are driving on a country road. Suddenly, a pig runs in front of the car. The chauffeur has no time to react, so he runs over the animal, killing it instantly. They get out of the vehicle, look around and spot a small farm in the distance. Trump says: The…
A guy got chatting to a girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asked….. “Have you not got a girlfriend?” she replied, “Guys like you always have girlfriends.” He looked downcast, “No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago.” “Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, “Go on…
A little girl runs up to her grandmother, crying. “Grandma, why does everybody says I have a buttface?” Her grandma gives her a hug. “Nonsense, sweetheart. You have such beautiful cheeks and lovely eyes!” Still unconvinced, the girl runs to her mom. “Mommy, is it true? Do I have a buttface?” Her mom kisses her…
A lawyer was walking down the street… When he spotted a woman with spectacular breasts. He immediately offered her $100 if she would let him bite them. “No way!” She exclaimed “What about for $1000?” He persisted “No certainly not what kind of woman do you think I am?” “You wouldn’t even do it for…
An atheist goes to heaven Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.” As they pass by a gay couple kissing the atheist wonders “Isn’t that a sin?” “That does not matter, all…
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep….
A very shy person wanted to learn how to approach a girl. So he went to watch a video on how to overcome shyness and talk to girls. In the video, the coach made a demo where he approched a girl and immediately asked her to guess a number from 1 to 9. The girl…
An older couple were lying in bed one night The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep….