What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed….
My daughter learned to count! My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally’s birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game. “Daddy,” she whispered, tugging…
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.” The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The pharmacists eyes got big…
Two Italian men get on a bus… They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two…
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman… He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No.” he replies “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was…
Ok, so my neighbours officially hate me. Me and a few mates were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us. So we all went running to see what was up, and our…
A blonde woman was speeding… A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde. The officer asked to see the lady’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. “What does…
Coffee and blow… On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight. Forgetting to turn off…
The teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him… Little boy: “Teacher are you … sleeping in class?” Teacher : “No I am not sleeping in class.” Little boy : “What were you doing sir ?” Teacher : ” I was talking to God.” The next day the naughty…
Irish Nuns Two Irish nuns, old and young, were sitting at a traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulled up alongside of them. “Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Superior thought this would be a good test for the novice, and…