Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop. They see a grizzled old-timer having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. Without a word of protest, the…
A woman is walking home with her three daughters. The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, “Mummy, how did I get my name?” “Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that’s why we named you Rose”. The second daughter, now curious, asks…
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a terrible problem with gas, but it doesn’t bother me much.” My farts are always silent and never smell. I probably farted 15 times since I’ve been here, and you didn’t realize it. The doctor says, “Interesting. Why don’t you take these…
A church minister spends the night in a motel. When a maid named Carol comes in to clean the room in the morning, he makes a pass at her… “I thought you guys weren’t allowed to have sex or whatever?” Carol says. “No. It’s fine!” says the minister. “I can have sex with you all…
A child asked her mom “how did I come to this world?” The mom, misty eyed answered, “Once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The little seed grew more and more leaves,…
Theory vs. Reality A son asks his father what the difference between theory and reality is. The father says go ask your mother if she would sleep with the neighbor for 1 million dollars, then go ask your sister the same question and tell me what they say. The son returns and says, “they both…
Jewish guy runs home from work, panting and trying to catch his breath. He plops down at the kitchen table, where his wife was cooking dinner. Wife asks, “What happened Motek? Why are you so exhausted?” Guy says with a huge smile, “Chooki, instead of taking the bus home from work today, I ran all…
A preacher and a taxi driver were waiting to get into Heaven The taxi driver walked up to St. Peter, who gave him a golden staff and let him into Heaven. The preacher walked up to St. Peter, who gave him a wooden staff. The preacher asked “I was a preacher. Why does a taxi…
Three drunk men were heading home from a bar. Three drunk men were heading home from a bar. They hailed a taxi. The taxi driver, realizing they were all wasted, came up with a trick. He let them all get in the backseat, started the engine, waited five seconds, then turned it off and said,…
A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden “Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit.”They must be British” They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement. “Nonsense,” says the Frenchman. “They’re naked…