An elderly man gets pulled over by the cops…
An elderly man gets pulled over by the cops… An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on…
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business.
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business. His mother walks in. “Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!” “I’m kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?” A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. “Hey, champ! How you doing?” The kid ignores him. “Don’t like…
Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem
Mr. Smith is on vacation with his wife and mother-in-law in Jerusalem One day, his mother-in-law dies quite suddenly. An undertaker proposes to bury the deceased there in Jerusalem. ‘No, thank you,’ says Mr. Smith. ‘I’d rather have the body shipped back to New York.’ ‘But why not?’ asks the undertaker. ‘Shipping a body is…
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room A nurse comes in and says, “Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but there’s been a mixup with the babies. Could you please help sort it out?” She takes them to the nursery and shows two white babies and one black baby. The Englishman…
Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y’all ain’t got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I’ve slept with more than 1,000 women!”
Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y’all ain’t got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I’ve slept with more than 1,000 women!”…
A little boy, his mother and his father are at a circus watching the elephants…
A little boy, his mother and his father are at a circus watching the elephants… When the little boy notices something hanging between the elephants legs. He asks ‘mommy, what’s that hanging between the elephants legs?’ His mother says ‘oh, it’s nothing’ The little boy turns to his father and says ‘daddy, what’s that hanging…
3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park…
3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park… Girl 1 turned to her mother and said… Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily? Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head. The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question… Girl 2: Why…
A 10 year old girl asked her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?”
A 10 year old girl asked her mother, “Mommy, how was I born?” The mother smiled and replied, “Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while, the seed started to…
The boss was busy and did not want to be disturbed.
The boss was busy and did not want to be disturbed. ​ He told his secretary to tell visitors he didn’t want to be disturbed. If they persisted with some story about how important it was, she should tell them “That’s what they all say.” Later that day, the boss’ wife stopped by to visit…