A 22yr old woman seduces a wealthy 85yr old man. She figures, how bad could it be? He’s worth millions and maybe I marry him. The first night, she’s naked in the bedroom, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. The old man walks out with a huge erection, a box of condoms,…
Two old ladies are outside smoking a cigarette It starts raining and without hesitating one of the ladies pulls a condom out of her purse and covers the cig to keep it from getting wet. The other lady thinks this is genius and walks to the nearest pharmacy. She grabs a pack of extra large…
My wife came home yesterday… and said, “Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is.” I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, “You know I don’t mean this badly, but you’re not mechanically inclined. You…
A woman arrived at a party A woman arrived at a party & while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?” “No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact I…
A cowboy walks into a saloon and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “Nope.” he replies. “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was…
Little Johnny took a child to the barber shop. He got his own hair cut, then told the barber, “You cut the kid’s hair—I’m just going to buy some vegetables.” The barber gave the child a haircut, but Little Johnny never returned. After a long wait, the barber asked the kid, “Where did your older…
Little Johnny learns about surnames The teacher stands at the front of the class. “So, what have we learned today about surnames? Can you figure out what your ancestors did all day? … Yes, Tommy *Smith*?” “My family used to make shoes for horses!” “That’s right! And yes, you, Janey *Archer*? What did your ancestors…
An Englishman, a Scottish man, and an Irish man all walk into a pub with their wives. They all sit down and order a cup of tea. The Englishman looks to his wife and says “could you pass the honey, honey?” The Scottish man thinks to himself how clever that was, then turns to his…
A man and his wife are on a cruise The ship capsizes but the man manages to get onto a lifeboat in time. However he notices that his wife is missing. Distraught he shouts. -A 100$ to the man that can save my wife! Upon hearing this several men jump into the water to rescue…
With the economy sinking, the government orders a public poll to listen to its citizens and the results came in The president is excited in his cabinet, waiting for the secretary to hear the news about how the public is feeling. The secretary rushes in: “Well Mr President, the public is divided. The optmistic ones…