A guy walks into a bar… …and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s it going?” Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: “Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,…
A man runs out of petrol A MAN was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. At that moment, a bee flew in his window. “What seems to be the problem?” asked the bee. “I’m out of petrol,” the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away….
A man really hated his wife’s cat. One day, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go. When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home. Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few…
A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting “Monster!” “Murderer!” “Killer! “. The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect. The policeman : Tell me what happened. The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I…
A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?” Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish…
A policeman knocked on my door this morning… A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in…
Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I…
Cop on Patrol A cop is patrolling at night and sees a car parked in lover’s lane. He knocks on the window, when it’s rolled down he sees a guy in the front seat playing on his phone and a girl in the back seat reading a magazine. The cop says “What’s going on here?”…
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won’t move at all… After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out…
Are you Blonde? A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, “Uhh, what are they again?” The blond cop replies, “Ugh. It’s the thing in your purse with your picture on it.” “Oh yeah,” says the blond who reaches in her…