A man goes to the pharmacists and asks for 3 1/2 Viagra pills A man goes to the pharmacist and asks for 3 1/2 Viagra pills. The pharmacist is confused and asks “why 3 1/2?” The man responds. “Well, Monday I am going to see my mistress and I need two. I need one for…
A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another … A man next to him said, “Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth??” The boy replied, “My grandfather lived for 105…
The government reveals their new logo today…. The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom. I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of…
This world has become disgusting! I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner on reddit. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajox, the…
A woman giving birth went into a coma for a few days When she woke up, the doctor told her, “congratulations, you gave birth to healthy twins: a girl and a boy. Your ex-boyfriend visited and named them for you” The woman replies, “no not him! What did he name the boy?” Doctor: Mason Woman:…
An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on ‘Take Your Kid to Work Day’. An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on ‘Take Your Kid to Work Day’. As they were walking around the office, the young girl starting crying and getting very cranky, her father asked…
A 6 year old runs up to her mother… DAUGHTER: Mummy, why don’t boys have vaginas? MOTHER: They have a penis instead. DAUGHTER: Does Daddy have a penis? MOTHER: Yeah. DAUGHTER: What does a penis look like? The mother thinks for a moment. MOTHER: It looks a bit like Pinocchio’s nose! The six year old…
In class, a teacher asked her students what was something good that they did today The first kid says “I gave money to a homeless man” The second kid says “I helped my mom with the chores” The third kid says “I helped an old lady cross the street” The teacher was very impressed and…
iBoob Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their…
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” Stunned, the woman sits down and complains to the man next to her. “I can’t believe that rude driver! He was so insulting to me! I have half I mind to tell him off!” The man…