In a second grade classroom, The teacher Ms. Jones is calling on students to ask them: what does your mom or dad do as a job, and can you spell that word? She calls on Sally who says “my daddy is a baker, ummm I think it’s b-a-c-e-r?” “Very close! Great work!” She gives Sally…
A black kid pulls the flour over his head. A black kid walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go to your Daddy and say…
A little boy’s friend tells him: “If you say to adults ‘I know about it all’, they’ll give you anything.” So of course he goes home and says to his dad: “I know about it all”. The dad hands him 100 bucks and tells him “but don’t tell mommy”. The kid, stoked, goes to his…
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: “Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” The mom says: “The…
Daddy shark is teaching baby shark how to hunt Daddy Shark: So, after you reach the shore, you pick your prey. They’re usually the ones swimming close to the beach in colorful swimwears. Baby Shark: Got it! Then I jump them? Daddy Shark: Not so fast, son. First, you swim up so your fin sticks…
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated. Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad” she says. *Hey, it’s working* thinks…
Little girl goes up to her father and says “Daddy talk like a frog” Dad says “get out of here, talk like a frog.” The next day again the little girl says “daddy talk like a frog.” Dad says “I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff.” Again on the next day she…
Walking hand in hand, a daughter looks up at her father and asks, “Daddy, what did YOU want to name me?” “Zelda honey,” he responded, “I wanted to name you Zelda. But on the night you were born, mommy said there was no way I was naming you Zelda. You see honey, mommy went through…
An Armenian takes his son hunting with him for the first time. – I don’t understand, Daddy, – the son says. – How are you going to hunt? You have no gun with you, no traps, no net even… – Ah, son, you don’t know what our Armenian jinx is like. There, look, a rabbit…
On Monday morning, a teacher asks his 2nd graders what they did over the weekend: Timmy goes first: “I went to the movies with my mommy and daddy”. “Great!” The teacher replies “but I want you to use big kid words. Next time, say you went to the movies with mom and dad” Next up…