A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The boy reluctantly…
Three drunk guys entered a taxi. ​ The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine & turned it off again. He told them. “We have reached”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said: “thank you”. The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap. The driver was…
A blonde man is convinced his wife is having an affair… He buys a gun, comes home early from work, and sure enough there is his wife and another man, naked in bed. Without a word the blonde man pulls out the gun and blows the guy away. Looking his wife in the eyes he…
Two guys are playing a round of golf behind two women, the women are playing really slow, so they decided to ask if they can play through. The first guy approaches the women, gets halfway then turns around and hurries back to his friend. He says “I can’t approach them, one is my wife and…
Olympic Condoms. (NSFW) A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said “Olympic Condoms”. He bought it, and told his wife about it. ” – Olympic Condoms? What’s so special about them?” ” – They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.” ” – And what color are you…
A chemist walks into his pharmacy A chemist walks into his pharmacy and sees a man standing in the corner with his hand on his stomach. He asks his assistant what happened. “the man came in with a cough but since we were out of cough syrup I gave him a laxative” his assistant says….
I recently attended a funeral And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the…
Don’t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell. Priest – Don’t drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell. Alcoholic – Is it? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest – He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic – Ok, what about the guy who sells pork tacos in the…
So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink. The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. “Why’d ya kiss your horse on the ass before coming in? You got shit all over…
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going…