18 inch harry.. A first-time John went to a whorehouse. He entered a private room, put $50 on the table and dropped his pants. At the sight of the man’s 18-inch penis, the hooker almost fainted. “Hold on, pal,” she said. “I’ll lick it, I’ll suck it, but you are not sticking that in me.”…
Johnny paid his way through college by waitering in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty…
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.” The nurse…
God bless you son 5 year old son after reading story of a king. Son:Mom, I also want 5 wives..one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me……. Mom:….And one will put you to sleep Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you Mom’s eyes filled up with tears … God bless you son…
The farmer’s wife died. He called the newspaper in town to check the cost of getting an obituary printed – “£20 per word” they told him. There was a long pause and then he said – “okay, write: WIFE DEAD”. The newspaper secretary understood the dilemma and said “look, you can do better than that,…
My Lawyer said to me… “I have some good news and I have some bad news.” “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first,” I said. My lawyer said: “Your wife invested $5,000 in 2 pictures today that she figured were worth a minimum of $5 million!!!” “Well done, very good news…
A nun asks her class, “Who knows what city Jesus was born in?” Little Johnny raises his hand and shouts, “Cheltenham!” The nun shakes her head and says, “No. Anyone else?” Little Johnny raises his hand again and shouts, “Willow Grove!” Again, the nun shakes her head. “Nope. Anyone else?” Little Johnny jumps up and…
A politicians promise A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. ”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.” On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would…
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, “I’ll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you’re doing.” At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she…
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar….