I was playing fold yesterday with an old acquaintance There were two women ahead who were playing really slowly. Eventually my golfing partner lost his patience and told me to go and ask them to let us play through. As I wandered up to them, I immediately recognised my wife and my mistress. I went…
Pregnancy checkups There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pregnancy checkups. The doctor asked the first woman “in what position was the baby conceived?” “He was on top”, she replied. “You will have a boy!” the doctor exclaimed. The second woman was asked the same question. “I was on top”, was the…
First golf joke I’ve heard less than 1,000,000 times. A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. “I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another,” says the Catholic. “One more son, and I’ll have a basketball team.” “That’s nothing,” says the Baptist. “I have 10 boys…
Bumping into People A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your…
A Newly Wed Chinese Couple Go on Their Honeymoon They get to the hotel late. The bride is visibly nervous and the groom is patiently and lovingly trying to reassure her. He says “You don’t need to worry about anything. Anything you want, I do for you.” Feeling a bit calmer she inquisitively looks at…
A man is riding in the back of a taxi… and the taxi driver is silent and concentrated on the road. Wanting to ask a question, the man taps the driver on the shoulder and says “Hey, buddy!” The driver screams and loses control of the taxi and crashes into a pole. The man says…
My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour’s rabbit hanging lifeless from it’s jaws. Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch. That evening…
John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde. His buddies are amazed. “There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you pull it off?” “It’s…
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset. The wife asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The second…
A church minister spends the night in a motel. When a maid named Carol comes in to clean the room in the morning, he makes a pass at her… “I thought you guys weren’t allowed to have sex or whatever?” Carol says. “No. It’s fine!” says the minister. “I can have sex with you all…