One day, 3 men died and went to heaven “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you…
Mother wanted to find her idiot son a job Mother wanted to find her idiot son a job, and of course the police station was the first location to try. She said “My son is a real idiot, he would be a great policeman”. The chief looked at him and said “I, don’t know.. doesn’t…
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I…
Hillary and Bill sneak away from the secret service Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk. Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. She turns to Bill…
A man running from the police runs into the Catholic church and hides in confession box.. Another person enters the other side and says “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” The man not wanting to get caught says, “What have you done my daughter?” She says, “I have had anal sex with my boyfriend,…
A man walks out of a bar… It’s a dark night, and he hears a lady whisper “30 dollars” from the shadows… The man has had a few beers and thinks to himself “I’ve never been with a prostitute… Why not?” He scurries into the bushes where he’d heard the voice with 30 dollars in…
A hooker is hired by a midget But he has no money so he says to her “if I can give you the best orgasm of your life, will you give me a root free of charge?” The hooker thinks for a moment and assumes that a midget of such small size surely couldn’t give…
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. The wife poured out every complaint – neglect, loneliness, feeling unloved, you name it. Finally, the therapist (a man) got up, asked her to stand, and kissed her passionately… right in…
A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop… Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.” Clerk: “Sorry kid, we’re out of chocolate.” Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.” Clerk: “No, no, you don’t understand, it’s *chocolate* we’re out of,” Kid: “Ah,…
A woman bent down ….to take a close look at a fine piece of jewelry in a jewelry store. In the process she vent out a fart. Embarrassed at that she looked around to see if anyone heard that. A salesman was right behind her. She gathered her composure and in the hope he didn’t…