A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge…
A man and his wife are out walking one day when they spot a bloke sitting alone in a bus shelter on the other side of the road ‘That looks like the Archbishop of Canterbury over there,” says the woman.’ ‘Go and ask him if he is.’ The husband crosses the road and asks the…
A man went skydiving for the first time. “It’s easy,” said the instructor. “Just count to five and pull on the main chute,” the instructor continued. “If that doesn’t open, count to ten and pull on the reserve chute.” “Super easy,” he concluded. “Then you’ll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be…
A guy falls in love with a very traditional girl….. A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl, that means no sex before marriage. But he doesn’t care, he loves her. After a year or two of dating he decides its time to propose. So he heads to her fathers house…
A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where…
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp “What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender. ” Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,”…
So a cardiologist in a small town died He was very well loved in the town, and every other doctor in the area came to his funeral. At the end they lowered him into the ground in a wondrous mahogany casket, shaped like a heart, lined with red velvet. It was a beautiful affair, but…
A teenager sits next to an old man on a bench… … and the old man will not stop staring at him. The kid had a long, spiky mohawk that was different colors. His arms and neck were covered in tattoos, and multiple piercings in his nostrils and ears. Finally, the kid, sick of the…
A student is taking an astronomy class in college. One day, the professor lectures about the solar system and mentions the sun will explode and kill all life on Earth in about 5 billion years. After class, the student nervously approaches the professor and asks, “Professor, excuse me, but did you say the sun is…
Last night, I laid my head on my wife in bed. She said “Why are your ears so cold?” I could feel a pun there but it just didn’t appear. I was frozen. I told her as much. It haunted me all night. In the morning on my hour drive to work, it was in…