Small World A lawyer and a doctor are golfing. There are two women ahead of them that are playing really slow, so the lawyer decides to ask them if they can play through. While driving up to them, he realizes the two women are his wife and mistress! He turns around without saying anything and…
Amazing Pregnancy Machine A woman was giving birth soon. The doctor told her an her husband that there was an experimental machine that could transfer the pain of labor to the father. They agreed to try it. The day arrived and the doctor set the machine at 10%. The husband wasn’t phased and told the…
A wife takes her husband to a Strip Club A wife treats her man by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday… At The Club, The Doorman Says, “Hey Johnny, How are You?” The wife asks, “How does he know you? Johnny says, “Oh dear, I play football with him.” Inside the Bartender…
Not a dadjoke – but he told it to me anyway… A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another Australian visitor. The barman says, “You aren’t from around here, are ya?” The guy says, “No, I’m from…
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims… “Wow, what a great chest you have!” “He says, “Solid dynamite, babe.” He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, “Wow, what massive calves you have!” He flexes his leg muscles and says, “Like I said,…
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which…
A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They’re going at it for a minute when…
Marriage joke A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?” The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”…
Dirty jokes A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?” The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”…
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.” And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over…