Pregnant girlfriend Guy: Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection, and the rubber never broke. How is it possible? Doctor: Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went…
Breastfeeding a Baby A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when a gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said: “Come on, drink it or … I’ll have to give it to this nice man here.” Five minutes later, the baby was…
A man walks into a bar Guy walks into a bar and sits at a table. Tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.” When she returns with his drink, he asks “Still servin’ breakfast?” When she says Yes, he replies, “Then I’ll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the…
Human Trafficking The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple onboard, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. “Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, graceful and rich looking female passenger onboard. She looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, old,…
A man is walking to his car late at night When he sees a woman on a shady corner. He goes up to ask if she’s alright and she responds “I’m a hooker, are you interested?” The man decides to live a little and takes her up on her offer and they go back to…
Trump & Obama are in a barber shop… Getting fresh cuts and shaves. They’re sitting right next to each other. Everyone is on edge; nobody is saying a word. Trump’s shave finishes first and the barber asks if he wants aftershave. Trump smells it and says “No way! That stuff smells like a whorehouse! I…
A reporter asks a billionaire how he earned he wealth Here’s the billionaire’s response: A long time ago, I had absolutely nothing but a penny. So I took that penny and bought a pencil from the corner store. Sold it to my classmate for two cents. Then I bought two pencils, sold them for four…
So a deaf mute guy wants to buy a condom A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to…
My ten year old daughter told this one… A girl and a boy are locked out of their house. They can’t find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the door lock… “Hey door lock you’re looking nice today, why don’t you go ahead and let us in.” The door…
A man gets a call from his mistress while he’s at work The mistress tells him, “come over tonight, and bring that thing I like” That night he gets to his mistress’ house, and they get right into it. Eventually she takes him to the bedroom, and crawls on the bed on her hands and…