The Madam’s house A madam set up her business in a three-floor house. She wanted to have a specific theme for each floor, so she hired ex-secretaries on the first floor because of their efficiency, ex-models on the second floor for their beauty, and ex-school teachers on the third floor for their intelligence. To her…
A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills. The doctor asked, “Why only 3?” The man said, “Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday, my wife is…
Three men are driving in a car One is white, one is Mexican and one is Asian. While driving they get into an accident and are rushed to the hospital. The three men were in comas when they arrived. After being admitted the nurse found that non of the men had ID’s on them. While…
A man tells his friend that he has a dog in a suitcase who can play the piano. The friend says “ok let’s see it”. The man opens the suitcase and sure enough a small dog with a small piano comes out and plays the piano with great skill. As he plays a crowd gathers…
Friends of Little Johnny told him that adults usually have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated. Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad” she says. Hey, it’s working thinks…
A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement.” Little Suzy raises her hand and…
This one is so old it’s been carbon-dated. A farmer was out working in his field one day when a carload of politicians came flying by. They were going too fast for the curve and turned over in the ditch. Later the sheriff stopped by and asked the farmer if he has seen the car….
At an international meeting of Brewing Companies three CEO’s decided to share a drink before leaving. As they reached the bar the CEO of Budweiser said he’d have the best beer in the world and ordered a bud. The CEO of Whitbread begged to differ and said the best beer in the world is Trophy…
The dirty professor The old professor started each lecture with a dirty joke. After a real objectionable example of that one day, the female students got together and decided that next time, when this happens again, they will all walk out in unison. The professor got wind of this plot. Next morning, after he entered…
A cabbie picks up a Nun The cab driver stares at her. The nun asks him why he is staring and he says, “I’ve always had a fantasy to kiss a nun.” She says, “I’ll kiss you if you are single and Catholic.” He replies, “I’m both!” The nun says, “Pull into an alley” The…