A British Airways flight just reached it’s cruise altitude The captain grabs the microphone and announces: ” Ladies and Gentleman, this is your captain. Welcome to flight 293, non-stop service from London-Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have an uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and… OH… MY GOD!”…
Kinda of a shitty joke but…… Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax…
Bill Clinton is on Air Force One when the Flight Attendant approaches with the lunch menu… Bill looks at the menu briefly, and then looks up and down at the attendant before giving her a wink. He leans over and says “Well, I sure could go for a quickie right about now.” The Attendant is…
Walking through the cabin, a flight attendant noticed a man drenched in sweat, trembling, and biting his nails. “Perhaps I could bring you a glass of whiskey? It might help you feel better”, the flight attendant suggested. After an obvious internal struggle, the man whispered: “Alright.” Checking on the same passenger again, the flight attendant…
Italian Men Talk Two Italian men are having a loud conversation on a plane. One of them, with many gesticulations, tells his friend, “Emma come first, I come next, then two assa come together, I come again, two assa come together again, I come once again, pee pee twice, then I come one last time.”…
A blonde boards a plane to Miami… A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn’t listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later…
Airline pilot… An airline pilot makes the usual announcements over the cabin PA system as the plane reaches cruising altitude. He then sets the plane on autopilot and turns to the co-pilot and jokes- “All I need now is a cup of coffee and a blow job.” Unbeknownst to the captain, the mic is still…
Human Trafficking The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple onboard, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. “Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, graceful and rich looking female passenger onboard. She looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, old,…
Slow down love 2 pilots are about to touchdown at the Melbourne Airport. They start talking about what they are going to do after they land not knowing that they left the microphone on for everyone to hear. one of them says im gonna have a beer, take a shit and bang one of the…
A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane. A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon…