A married couple never fought, not even once in 25 years of marriage. A friend of the couple asked, “How is that even possible?” Husband replied, “Well, we went to a Ranch for our honeymoon. While horseback riding, my wife’s horse jumped and my wife fell off. She got up patted the horse and said,…
Still a virgin,,, A couple got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love making, the wife tells the husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” The husband being shocked, replied, “How’s this possible? You’ve been married three times before.” The wife responds, “Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and…
Redneck Wedding After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says ‘you will be careful won’t you?’ The young hubby is a bit confused and asks ‘Why?’ She explains that she is still a virgin He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and…
Really drunk people? 3 men entered a taxi. The taxi driver could tell that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off. He then proceeded to tell them that they had reached their destination. The first guy gave him the money and the second guy thanked the taxi driver. The third…
I took a taxi the other night A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and then topped it off with a margarita. Not a good idea. Knowing full well I was at least slightly over the limit, I did something…
Jesus is down by the gates to Heaven When an old man approaches. “Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?” Asks St Peter. “To be honest.” replies the man, “I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn’t my biological son… his birth was…
Airline pilot… An airline pilot makes the usual announcements over the cabin PA system as the plane reaches cruising altitude. He then sets the plane on autopilot and turns to the co-pilot and jokes- “All I need now is a cup of coffee and a blow job.” Unbeknownst to the captain, the mic is still…
George Bush and Dick Cheney stopped in to a small diner for breakfast while touring through the country. George Bush and Dick Cheney stopped in to a small diner for breakfast while touring through the country. The waitress comes to take their orders. Cheney orders an omelette. She turns to the President and asks for…
A guy sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili… The waitress says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”. He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, “Are you going to eat…
Boss and secretary. A boss says to his secretary: “I wanna have sex with you, ill make it fast. Ill throw a 1000 bucks on the floor and by the time u bend down and pick it up ill be done.” She thinks about it and decides to ask her boyfriend He tells her to…