Child walks in on parents in coitus Mummy and Daddy are having sex and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son. son: mummy, what’s going on? mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy…
New secretary Frank and Harry have been business partners for many years. They had just employed a new secretary and Frank had taken her out. “How was it?” inquired Harry. “Fantastic! And i don’t mind saying, that she’s far better in the cot than my wife.” A couple of weeks later, Harry took the secretary…
A girl asks her mom where babies come from. The Mom replies, “When a man and a woman love each other very much, they have sex. Sex is when a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina, that’s how you get a baby.” The daughter is confused and says, “But the other day I…
My marriage is over. I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I’ve had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left. I do…
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed… to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, “Does anyone know what this is?” And little Johnny says, “Yes, my dad has 2 of them!” And the teacher says, “Are you sure about that?” And little…
Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his dad. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes Little Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father says, “I have to make sure that he’s healthy…
During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny “have you ever heard of the word contagious before?” “Of course miss” Johnny replies “my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday”. “Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?” “Yes, miss. We were watching the…
What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common? They get confused and incorrectly assume it’s a date. (Edit) Thank you for the awards. As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we…
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car The operator asks for his location. Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”. The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, “How do you spell that?” There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end…
Outside the pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching into a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: “What’s the matter with that guy? Wasn’t he in here earlier?” Assistant replies: “Yes he was….