A kindergarten teacher asked her students to talk about what they did during the recent school holidays. She asked them to use “grown-up words” as opposed to baby language. The first little one said he went to see his “nana.” The teacher said, “No! You went to see your ‘grandmother.’ Use grown-up words.” The next…
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Sam looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Lester, who…
A woman opened her door to see two policeman standing there. “Mrs Smith? I’m afraid that Inhave some bad news for you? Your husband was at work, at the brewery, and it seemed that he fell into one of the cats of beer and drowned.” Mrs Smith fell to her knees, clutching at her chest….
Two men are golfing on a sunday (Not sure if this joke has circulated this subreddit before, but I suppose this community isn’t unfamiliar to reposts) Two men are golfing on a random sunday. Golfer 1 is about to hit the ball when he notices a funeral procession on the other side of the street….
A 5 year old boy asked his dad… A 5 year old boy asked his dad – “Daddy.. what are those bumps on mommy’s chest?” The father, a bit uncomfortable at the question, decided his son was too young to learn about female anatomy. “Those are mommy’s balloons, son”, said the father. “And when she…
A body builder takes off his shirt. A blonde says, “Wow, what a great chest you have!” He says, “100lbs of dynamite, babe!” He takes off his pants and the blonde says “What massive calves you have!” He replies, “That’s 100lbs of dynamite, babe!” He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming…
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims… “Wow, what a great chest you have!” “He says, “Solid dynamite, babe.” He then takes off his pants and the blonde says, “Wow, what massive calves you have!” He flexes his leg muscles and says, “Like I said,…
A student is taking an astronomy class in college. One day, the professor lectures about the solar system and mentions the sun will explode and kill all life on Earth in about 5 billion years. After class, the student nervously approaches the professor and asks, “Professor, excuse me, but did you say the sun is…
A British doctor says: “In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for a job.” The German doctor replies: “That’s nothing. In Germany, we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks…