Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” “I farted in class and the teacher threw me out.” The…
the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness go to lunch. So, the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness are all sitting in a restaurant. When the waitress comes over she takes their drinks order first – ‘Ill have a silver bullet’ says the Coors guy – ‘Ill have the king of beers’ says the Budweiser…
Daddy, what’s it like being drunk? A little girl goes up to her dad and asks “Daddy, what does it feel like being drunk?” “Well,” the father replies “You see those 2 telephone poles over there in the distance?” he says, pointing in the direction of the poles. “A drunk person would see 4 telephone…
A teacher in Ireland is giving an English lesson and asks the class for examples of when they have heard the word “contagious” being used… One eager child says, “Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!” “Very good!” replied the teacher. “Has anybody else got an example?” “My…
a joke we tell in Ukraine A russian, a Ukrainian and an African American guys are sitting in the waiting room while their wives give birth. The nurse comes out with 3 babies and says “sorry guys, they’ve got mixed up..let’s see whose is whose”. The Ukrainian takes a black kid and runs. They yell…
A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker offered two options: ship her home for $5,000 or bury her locally for $150. The man chose to ship her home. When asked why he’d spend so much to send her…
Blowjobs do not relieve headaches The other day, I had an astoundingly painful headache and I couldn’t help but complain about it to my girlfriend. She surprised me by saying, “Ya know, blowjobs can be a natural cure for a headache…” So, I thought it was worth a shot. But that day I learned my…
My girlfriend is a porn star! She’s going to be really mad when she finds out. EDIT: Will people stop asking me to post the source or a picture, this is a joke that it is why it is here instead of in mildlyinterestng. The truth is my girlfriend tried to be a porn star…
A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl.. After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage.. After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie.. “It’s simple” billionaire boasts… “I faked my age” “Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old…
A young girl came home from college and mentioned that she was thinking about having a baby. Assuming her daughter may already be pregnant, her mother was furious. “What the hell? How’d you get knocked up like this? Who’s the father?” “Mom, you’ve got it all wrong,” her daughter replied, “It’s a class project about…