A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word “contagious” in a sentence. Jenny puts her hand up and says “My mum says we should stay home when we’re sick incase we’re contagious.” “That’s right” the teacher says, “Anyone else?” Susie says “My grandma says a smile can be contagious.” “Very good”…
I bumped into an old school friend today I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see…
A student receives a bad grade on his exam And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he’s been graded unfairly. He says to the teacher “I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren’t entirely correct!” The teacher sighs and says “ok, I’ll take another look at…
So I went in to get my vasectomy… So I went in to get my vasectomy, feeling a bit anxious about the procedure. The nurse, trying to ease my nerves, assured me that she’d sterilized everything and it would all be over soon. Just as I was starting to relax, the doctor walked in with…
A Little Christmas Joke This guy Joe arrives to pick up his fiancée for a date in a new Porsche. His fiancée is confused because Joe isn’t exactly a wealthy guy. She says, “Where did you get this Porsche?“ Joe says, “It was in my garage.“ She says, “What was it doing in your garage?“…
Man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks “what are you doing?”… She says, “I’m off to New York. I read that prostitutes can make $500 for doing what I do with you for free”. As the wife is getting to leave, she walks by the bedroom and sees…
A guy is approached by a hooker in a bar. She says, “This A guy is approached by a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The…
Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy. They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, “Are these for you?” The older brother says, “They aren’t for me, they’re for my brother.” Very confused the pharmacist asks, “But, why does your brother need them?”, and the older brother…
An artist, a lawyer, and a gamer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered… The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The gamer says, “It’s the best…
A guy is laying in bed with his mistress… – Shouldn’t your husband be coming soon? Cause I’d rather not see him, he’s my best friend after all… – Don’t worry, he won’t be here before an hour. At that moment, the phone rings. The woman answers : “Hi honey. Ok honey, yes honey. Bye…