A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out… When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed. Doctor: “We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you” New Mother: “My brother named…
Wife visits doctor A wife walked through the living room, humming a joyful tune. “You seem happy,” said her husband. “Went to the doctor today and he said for 45, I have the breasts of a 21 year old,” she responded with a smile. “What did your doctor say about you 45 year old ass,”…
A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon They start arguing over the pronunciation of “Hawaii”. The man says it is pronounced “Hawaii” while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced “Havaii”. The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is…
A couple is celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary … They rent the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. The wife undresses and says, “25 years ago, when you first saw me naked, what were you thinking?” The husband says, “I was thinking that I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your…
“F*cking hell love, this is interesting.” I said to the wife, looking up from my computer. “It says here that the giant squid, which until last year had never even been seen alive, is actually estimated as a 100 million-strong species, worldwide.” “What the hell are you telling me that for?” She said, angrily. “You…
Three men are discussing Adam and Eve The Frenchman says “Adam and Eve must be French. They are beautiful, and naked, and have all the world’s beauty before them.” The Englishman says “Not at all. They are residing in the most beautiful, perfect Garden. They must be English.” The Russian says “They are without clothes,…
3 drunk men Three men hail a taxi. The driver—seeing that they’re drunk—decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, “We’re here!” The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, “Thanks,” but the third guy angrily smacks the cabbie’s head. “What…
A man misses the bus… A man on the way home just misses the bus. He runs after it in the hope to catch it, but ends up running all the way to his home. There he tells his wife : Honey, I did something great today. I saved 3€ by running after the bus….
A worried father calls the family doctor because he thinks his teen son has caught a venereal disease. “I think he got it from the maid,” says the concerned dad, “and I’ve also been sleeping with the maid.” ​ “Okay,” the doctor replies calmly. “Well, when you bring him into the office we’ll take a…
I got thrown out of math class today. The teacher asked me “If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?” Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn’t the answer… EDIT: Holy, this blew up fast. Kind of like…