A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were…
A girl visits her boyfriend on a Friday night Girl: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Boy: Actually, it’s a banana. They were on sale. Girl: OK… is that another banana in your pocket, or are you happy to see me? Boy: It was a 2-for-1…
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw an elderly man walking past. She hasn’t had a customer in a while, so she calls out to him “Hey, would you like to have a fun time with me?” The old man said, “But I won’t be able to…” “Aww… give it a…
Tonight I was walking home late when I see a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. I’ve never been with a prostitute before, but decided what the hell. We are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on us – it’s a policeman. “What’s going on…
The aging head of a secluded Monastary decides he will take a walk into the nearby town for the first time in 30 years. As he’s walking down the street he passes a hooker on a corner who says “Hey twenty dollars for a quicky”. Confused, he walks past another corner and another hooker says…
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess’ lap and says, “My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle…
Trumpets and Guns In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, “So how is your strange business going?” “What do you mean strange?” “Because you sell only trumpets and guns!” “So?” “Well, let me put it this way,…
A man walks into a pharmacy to buy some condoms The pharmacist takes note and says “Big night tonight eh?” The man responds “Yeah, meeting the new girls’ parents for dinner tonight and I’m trying to get lucky.” He heads to his girlfriend’s house later that night and sits down before eating to pray. And…
A young guy is buying condoms for the first time… The pharmacy he goes to is in a high-crime area, so frequently stolen things like condoms are kept behind the counter. He sees a sign advertising condoms for $6.99 a box. Nervously, he approaches the counter. “I’d like one box of condoms please.” “Certainly,” says…
A man walks into a store to buy condoms He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, “Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!” Wife: What’s so special about them. Husband: Well, there’s a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one. Wife: Which one…