Two kids camping in the backyard Two kids are camping in their backyard, it’s gotten pretty late and neither of them have watches. “What time do you think it is?” One of them asks the other. “Just make a ton of noise” says the other. The first kid gets confused and decides to do it…
A Swiss man is in hospital, all sorts of bones broken His neighbour asks him: “How did you do that?” Swiss: “I’m a bear hunter!” Neighbour: “And…what happened?” Swiss: “I stood at a small cave and said: ‘Hoi Bärli!’ A small bear came out and I let it go! Then I went to a medium-sized…
This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are ready to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off. As they are…
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in…
Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust,…
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight… After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, “I’d rather be tied up and taken…
A blonde girl excitedly arrives home from school. “Mommy Mommy, all the other kids can only count to 4, but I counted all the way to 10! Is it because I’m blonde Mommy?” “Yes dear, it’s because you’re blonde.” The girl returns home the following day even more ecstatic. “Mommy mommy! When we dressed for…
Husband walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife is in bed reading a book. He stands at the foot of the bed and says, “See honey, this is the cow I fuck when you have a headache.” The wife puts the book down and looks at her husband. “If you weren’t so stupid”…
Speak English, you moron! An Amish farmer is walking through his field when he sees a guy drinking from his pond, scooping it up with his hand. The farmer says, “Trinken sie nicht das wasser, die kuhe unddie schweine haben in ihm geschissen,” (‘Don’t drink the water, the cows and the pigs shit in it’)….
A wife goes on a retreat for work for a few days. When she returns and enters the house, she puts her things away and then goes to do some much needed laundry. Upon her entry to the room, however, she finds a pair of panties on the floor that do not belong to her!…