The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset… She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Maid: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Maid: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Maid: “The second reason is that I am…
Mrs. Smith walks into a pharmacy and asks to buy poison ‘Dear lady, why would you want to buy poison?’ asks the pharmacist. ‘To kill my husband!’ ‘I can’t sell you poison so you can kill someone!’ As an answer to that, Mrs. Smith puts a picture on the counter where one can clearly see…
After a 2000 year absence, the Virgin Mary takes a trip down to earth. ​ After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. “Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I met a man.” Peter says to her, “That’s not bad. This is how it is down on earth.” The next day she…
Man in ecstasy… He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth…in and out…in and out. It was going on 20 minutes at this point… Her heart was pounding…her face was flushed…then she moaned, softly at…
Murphy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows. “Twenty Euros,” she whispers. Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty Euros. So they hid in the bushes. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a…
“I know where babies come from.” After coming home from school and sitting down on the couch, young Jenny proudly proclaimed “Mommy, I know where babies come from!” Imagining storks and unicorns, her Mom said “OK, then why don’t you tell me Honey.” Jenny says “The Mommy and Daddy take off their clothes and start…
Little Suzie walks in on her parents having sex. She’s told to wait downstairs. Her mother comes down first and tries to console her. Mommy, what were you doing to daddy? Well sweetheart, you know how your father’s a little overweight? Every day I bounce up and down on top of him to let some…
A young boy went to church with his mother Midway through the service, the boy loudly said “Mama, I have to pee!” After taking him to the bathroom, his mother said “It’s rude to say ‘pee’ in public like this. Next time in church, just say you have to ‘whisper.’” The next week, the boy…
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset. The wife asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The second…
John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde. His buddies are amazed. “There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you pull it off?” “It’s…