A woman bent down ….to take a close look at a fine piece of jewelry in a jewelry store. In the process she vent out a fart. Embarrassed at that she looked around to see if anyone heard that. A salesman was right behind her. She gathered her composure and in the hope he didn’t…
A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop… Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.” Clerk: “Sorry kid, we’re out of chocolate.” Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.” Clerk: “No, no, you don’t understand, it’s *chocolate* we’re out of,” Kid: “Ah,…
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to counseling. The wife poured out every complaint – neglect, loneliness, feeling unloved, you name it. Finally, the therapist (a man) got up, asked her to stand, and kissed her passionately… right in…
A hooker is hired by a midget But he has no money so he says to her “if I can give you the best orgasm of your life, will you give me a root free of charge?” The hooker thinks for a moment and assumes that a midget of such small size surely couldn’t give…
A man walks out of a bar… It’s a dark night, and he hears a lady whisper “30 dollars” from the shadows… The man has had a few beers and thinks to himself “I’ve never been with a prostitute… Why not?” He scurries into the bushes where he’d heard the voice with 30 dollars in…
A man running from the police runs into the Catholic church and hides in confession box.. Another person enters the other side and says “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” The man not wanting to get caught says, “What have you done my daughter?” She says, “I have had anal sex with my boyfriend,…
Hillary and Bill sneak away from the secret service Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk. Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. She turns to Bill…
One day, 3 men died and went to heaven “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you…
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.” And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over…
Dirty jokes A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?” The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”…