Twice a Day This guy goes to his doctor “You gotta help me. I can’t stop having sex.” “How often do you have it?” The doc asks “Well, twice a day with my wife.” The doc says “That’s no to bad.” The guy says “Yeah, but that’s not all, I also have sex with my…
A nun decides to dye her worn out clothes A nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the colour back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes. Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry. When she…
10 engineering professors board a plane Once they are inside and the plane is a about to take off, the air hostess comes out and tells everyone that the plane has been made by the students of those teachers. Immediately 9 of the professors get up and run away from the plane while one of…
A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf….. An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are…
Cheaper Pub in the World Guy walks into a pub and asks the bar man for a pint; “That will be $0.05 please sir”. “Wow, in that case I will have a shot of whisky too” “Certainly, that will be $0.03 sir”. “Damnnn, OK and a packet of crisps”. “0.01 please sir, $0.08 all together”….
A blonde girl sets out to prove blonde aren’t dumb A blonde girl rents out a stadium and invites as many blondes as she can and sure enough 80,000 blondes fill the stadium and she films it all on live television. She invites a little 4 year old girl out in front of everyone and…
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which…
One day, 3 men died and went to heaven “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you…
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.” And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over…
Dirty jokes A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, “Why do you look so excited?” The groom replies, “I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”…