Horny Husband With his wife now eight months pregnant, a man was severely horny. She recognized what he was going through and empathized enough to hand him a fifty-dollar bill. “Honey, you’re so depressed. Take this money to the woman next door and she’ll sleep with you. But remember: tonight only, okay? Never again!” He…
3 drunk guys entered a taxi The driver- who knew the 3 of them were drunk, started the engine and then shut it off again after a few seconds. He then tells them, “alright guys we’re here now!” The first drunk guy gave the taxi driver money. The second drunk guy smiled then said, “thank…
A policeman knocked on my door this morning… A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in…
Barack & The Donald go to the barber… Barack Obama and Donald Trump inadvertently ended up getting a shave at the same barber shop at the same time. The barbers, wondering if things might get nasty, were nervous. Trump’s barber was almost done and was getting ready to use an after-shave as a final touch….
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep….
I haven’t had sex since 1956! A woman asked a general in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said “1956 ma’am.” The woman taken back by this answer said “1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better…” and the two sauntered away to a…
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated. Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad” she says. *Hey, it’s working* thinks…
Little girl goes up to her father and says “Daddy talk like a frog” Dad says “get out of here, talk like a frog.” The next day again the little girl says “daddy talk like a frog.” Dad says “I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff.” Again on the next day she…
It’s ok, a black guy told me this A little black boy, pretending to be white, covers his face in flour. He goes over to his father and says, “Daddy, Daddy! Look I’m white!” The father, with a quick smack says, “Boy! Go show yo mother” The boy runs over to his mother and exclaims,…
4 friends in their 20s…. Four friends in their 20s go to a new restaurant, Sands, because they’ve never been there before. 10 years later, they reunite and go back because the waitresses were so pretty. In their 40s, they decide to go again because of the amazing wine selection. Another 10 years pass and…