A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector phoned his client…… He said, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first.” The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me…
A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, “Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; Let’s hear the good news first.” The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested…
You know you’re in trouble when…. Your accountant’s letter of resignation is postmarked Panama. Your suggestion box starts ticking. Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3. You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town. You take an assertiveness training course…
Another Irish joke involving beer While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, “Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!” Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told…
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him… She says hello and he’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind…
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce? Farmer: which one, black one or white one? Interviewer: Black one Farmer: 2 litres per day. Interviewer: And the white one? Farmer: 2 litres per day. Interviewer : Where do they sleep? Farmer: The Black one or the. White one? Interviewer: The black one Farmer…
Walking through the cabin, a flight attendant noticed a man drenched in sweat, trembling, and biting his nails. “Perhaps I could bring you a glass of whiskey? It might help you feel better”, the flight attendant suggested. After an obvious internal struggle, the man whispered: “Alright.” Checking on the same passenger again, the flight attendant…
A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas… After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window. “What are you doing that for?”, the others exclaim. “Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see…
Tea is an evil substance. It is much more dangerous than beer. I discovered this last night. I drank 15 beers up until 3 am in the pub while my wife was just at home drinking tea. You should have seen how mad and violent she was when I got home. She threw the chair…
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men’s jobs, and why they were at the beach. “I’m a construction worker,” said the first man. “All year long I toil in the…