You know you’re in trouble when…. Your accountant’s letter of resignation is postmarked Panama. Your suggestion box starts ticking. Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3. You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town. You take an assertiveness training course…
Another Irish joke involving beer While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, “Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!” Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told…
Kung Fu student asks his teacher “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated. And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?” “Yes, my master, I have.” “And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the…
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him… She says hello and he’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind…
Walking through the cabin, a flight attendant noticed a man drenched in sweat, trembling, and biting his nails. “Perhaps I could bring you a glass of whiskey? It might help you feel better”, the flight attendant suggested. After an obvious internal struggle, the man whispered: “Alright.” Checking on the same passenger again, the flight attendant…
A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas… After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window. “What are you doing that for?”, the others exclaim. “Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see…
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men’s jobs, and why they were at the beach. “I’m a construction worker,” said the first man. “All year long I toil in the…
Pregnant Wife Guy: Doctor, My wife is pregnant but we always used double protection. Then, how is it possible? Doctor: Let me tell you a story to make you realize how it is possible. “There was a Hunter who always carried a Gun wherever he went. One day, he took his umbrella instead of his…
Horny Husband With his wife now eight months pregnant, a man was severely horny. She recognized what he was going through and empathized enough to hand him a fifty-dollar bill. “Honey, you’re so depressed. Take this money to the woman next door and she’ll sleep with you. But remember: tonight only, okay? Never again!” He…
3 drunk guys entered a taxi The driver- who knew the 3 of them were drunk, started the engine and then shut it off again after a few seconds. He then tells them, “alright guys we’re here now!” The first drunk guy gave the taxi driver money. The second drunk guy smiled then said, “thank…