Three Drunks Get into a Taxi Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, “Alright guys we’re here!” The first drunk tips him £10 and gets…
A man sitting in the back of a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask a question… The driver screams and loses control of the car causing it to veer off the road, narrowly missing a group of people and comes to a stop just before hitting a shop window. For a moment…
A joke I received from my cousin this morning. 4 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, kept it started for 5 mins then turned it off again. He then told them”We have reached”. The 1st guy was too drunk.Without saying a word he…
Two guys are playing golf… The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. So one man says to his friend, “I’m gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.” He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his…
A princess and her entourage are playing a truth-telling game. She asks a knight if he has fathered any children. He looks down and says, “Alas, my Lady, I have not.” The princess nods. “I believe it. You do not have the look of a man who could please his mistress. Your beard is a…
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!” “Everything is bigger in Texas,” says the bellhop. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow these drinks…
A blonde, brunette, and redhead mom go to a cafe…. They had each stolen their daughters purses to see what their girls did in their free time. The redhead mom opens her daughters purse first and finds a pack of cigarettes. “Oh my God, Debbie smokes! I am going to kill her!” The brunette mom…
This guy, Bob, recently moved to a new ranch, when he heard a knock on the door He opens the door and the man at the door says: “Howdy and welcome to the neighbourhood. I’m Billy and I’m your neighbour from the ranch up the road.” “Well howdy.” says Bob. “Nice to make your acquaintence.”….
A man is praying in church. He looks up to heaven and says “God, could you answer a question for me?” “Of course, my son,” says God, “what would you like to know?” “God, what is a million years to you?” “Well,” says God, “a million years to me is as a second.” “Hmm,” says…
A wife took her husband to a strip club as a birthday treat. The doorman greeted them, “Hi Jim! How are you?” “How does he know you?” asked the wife. “Oh dear, I play football with him,” said Jim. Inside, the bartender asked, “Hello Jim! The usual?” Jim turned to his wife. “Before you say…