Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated. Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad” she says. *Hey, it’s working* thinks…
Here’s a Golden Oldie for You… Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan’s side. It even learned to dig for clams. One day, a man went to Juan’s house looking to hire…
Little girl goes up to her father and says “Daddy talk like a frog” Dad says “get out of here, talk like a frog.” The next day again the little girl says “daddy talk like a frog.” Dad says “I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff.” Again on the next day she…
It’s ok, a black guy told me this A little black boy, pretending to be white, covers his face in flour. He goes over to his father and says, “Daddy, Daddy! Look I’m white!” The father, with a quick smack says, “Boy! Go show yo mother” The boy runs over to his mother and exclaims,…
3 men died & went to heaven… One day, 3 men died & went to heaven. “Religion?” God’s secretary asked the first man. “Jewish,” the man replied. “Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8,” the secretary said. “Religion?” he asked the second man. “Muslim.” “Go to room…
4 friends in their 20s…. Four friends in their 20s go to a new restaurant, Sands, because they’ve never been there before. 10 years later, they reunite and go back because the waitresses were so pretty. In their 40s, they decide to go again because of the amazing wine selection. Another 10 years pass and…
Mr. Fenwood owns a cow, but has nowhere to pasture her . . . . . . So he talks to his neighbor, Mr. Potter, and cuts a deal to pasture his cow in Potter’s field for $200 per month. Months go by and the cow is happy, but Fenwood hasn’t paid Potter anything. After…
A Nazi goes to a bar… A Nazi goes to a bar, looks around, and sees an Orthodox Jew sitting at a nearby table. “Barkeep!”, he says, “A round on me for everyone but that gentleman right there.” Everyone in the bar receives a cocktail, he looks over at the Jew and notices him smiling…
A man and his family walk into a bar… Inside of the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating “World’s longest memory”. The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true. The child asks “What did you have for breakfast 30 years…
The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset. The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset… She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your…