A man goes to ask the great guru, “Which is better, large breasts or small breasts?” The great guru asks him “How much money do you have in bills in your wallet?” The man quickly counts the money. “Thirty dollars.” “And if you had thirty dollars in coins,” said the guru, “which would have the…
A woman, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician’s office. After the examination, she shyly said, “My husband wants me to ask you…” To which the doctor replies, “I know…I know…” placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in…
A man goes home after being at his mistress’ house However, he realized that he smelled like her perfume. So then he goes to the nearby bar, drinks a couple of glasses of whiskey and heads home. His wife met him at the door, smelled him and told him “You dirty pig! You can pour…
A woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap. “Because he used to live in a brothel,” says the shopkeeper. She pays $15. When she gets home the parrot says: “Fuck me, a new brothel!” The woman laughs. When her daughters…
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks ‘Why is the last one so cheap?’ “Because he used to live in a brothel” says the shopkeeper. She pays $15. When she gets home the parrot says: “Fuck me, a new brothel!” The woman laughs. When her daughters…
My sister asked me to take off her clothes So I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Take off my skirt.” I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now take off my bra and panties.” and so I took them off. Then she looked at me and…
$100 Bill Tattoo A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. He replies, “Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my…
Infidelity The secretary of a high-priced lawyer announced to him the arrival of a new client- a gorgeous young woman. The woman was seated and said, ‘I want a divorce.” “On what grounds,” asked the lawyer. “Infidelity, I don’t think my husband has been faithful to me.” “What makes you think that.” “Well, I don’t…
My wife was in the garden. She started yelling to me. Her: There are two spiders here, “is that a mummy longlegs under the daddy longlegs.? Me: No don’t be silly there are no mummy longlegs only daddy longlegs. “I felt pretty proud of myself with my answer. Until she stomps on both spiders, “Well…
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house’s private study Maid: “I’d like a raise.” Mrs. Smith:”Why do you think you deserve a raise? Maid:”Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you.” Mrs. Smith:”Who told you that?” Maid:”Your husband. Second, I clean…