A baby camel asks his father, “Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?” The dad replies, “So that we can store water in those.” He then asks, “Why do we have hooves then?” The dad replies, “To prevent our feet from sinking in the sand.” After thinking this over, he then asks,…
A man and his wife are running out of money. Now out of options, the wife decides to take up prostitution to get some money. The husband takes her to the corner of the street, and later comes back that night, picking up his wife. He turns to her and asks “how much did you…
Highway Dildo A little girl is riding along the highway with her mom. When suddenly a dildo falls off the truck in front of them and hits the windshield The little girl asks: *Mommy, what was that?* The mom, not wanting her little girl to know about sex yet, answers: *It was just a bug…
I paid a homeless man $1 for this joke. Two men crash into each other at an intersection. First man steps out of his wrecked car screaming: “You son-of-a-bitch, you wrecked my Jag! I’m a lawyer, I’m going to sue you for everything you have!” Other man responds, “You Lawyers only care about money, you…
3 pregnant ladies in a coffee shop So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are sitting in a coffee shop talking about their pregnancies. The brunette says to the other 2 that I heard if you have sex on top, your more likely to have a boy The redhead say oh that must mean…
I was out shopping tonight, when I saw a new brand of condoms called, “Olympic.” Trying to get in to the spirit of things, I bought a pack and when I got home, I sprinted in singing the Olympic theme song and proudly showed them to my wife… “Olympic condoms!?” she asked. “What makes them…
Outside the pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching into a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: “What’s the matter with that guy? Wasn’t he in here earlier?” Assistant replies: “Yes he was….
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car The operator asks for his location. Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”. The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, “How do you spell that?” There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end…
What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common? They get confused and incorrectly assume it’s a date. (Edit) Thank you for the awards. As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we…
During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny “have you ever heard of the word contagious before?” “Of course miss” Johnny replies “my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday”. “Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?” “Yes, miss. We were watching the…