Three men are discussing Adam and Eve The Frenchman says “Adam and Eve must be French. They are beautiful, and naked, and have all the world’s beauty before them.” The Englishman says “Not at all. They are residing in the most beautiful, perfect Garden. They must be English.” The Russian says “They are without clothes,…
“F*cking hell love, this is interesting.” I said to the wife, looking up from my computer. “It says here that the giant squid, which until last year had never even been seen alive, is actually estimated as a 100 million-strong species, worldwide.” “What the hell are you telling me that for?” She said, angrily. “You…
A couple is celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary … They rent the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. The wife undresses and says, “25 years ago, when you first saw me naked, what were you thinking?” The husband says, “I was thinking that I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your…
A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon They start arguing over the pronunciation of “Hawaii”. The man says it is pronounced “Hawaii” while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced “Havaii”. The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is…
Wife visits doctor A wife walked through the living room, humming a joyful tune. “You seem happy,” said her husband. “Went to the doctor today and he said for 45, I have the breasts of a 21 year old,” she responded with a smile. “What did your doctor say about you 45 year old ass,”…
A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out… When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed. Doctor: “We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you” New Mother: “My brother named…
A guy is laying in bed with his mistress… – Shouldn’t your husband be coming soon? Cause I’d rather not see him, he’s my best friend after all… – Don’t worry, he won’t be here before an hour. At that moment, the phone rings. The woman answers : “Hi honey. Ok honey, yes honey. Bye…
An artist, a lawyer, and a gamer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered… The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The gamer says, “It’s the best…
Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy. They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, “Are these for you?” The older brother says, “They aren’t for me, they’re for my brother.” Very confused the pharmacist asks, “But, why does your brother need them?”, and the older brother…
A guy is approached by a hooker in a bar. She says, “This A guy is approached by a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The…