A blonde orders a beer A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs. Each time the blonde calls for another beer this…
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, Why in the world do you need cyanide? The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill…
A man appears before Gabriel at the pearly gates. **”Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” Gabriel asks.** **”Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman.**…
Welcome to Jamaica A young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married they…
Two blokes are out playing golf Jim and Dave are playing golf one day when they come to the 8th hole there are two women teeing off. Jim turns to Dave and says “go ask if we can play through” Dave takes off towards the two women but only makes it about ten paces before…
Barbie One day, a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, “How much is the Barbie on display in the front window?” The salesperson answers, “Which one? We have Work-Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie…
A bus driver was called into court for killing 24 children and 6 adults The judge asks the bus driver “why did you kill all those innocent people?” The bus driver, looking a little sad, says “I didn’t mean too, It was by mistake!” “How did it happen?” Asks the judge. “Well-” said the bus…
Two Old Ladies go out for a smoke in the rain As they’re smoking, Old Lady 1 takes out a condom, cuts off the end, and puts it over her cigarette. Old Lady 2 looks at her and, realizing what a good idea it is, asks “hey where’d you get that.” “The Pharmacy, you can…
A man takes his young son to the pharmacy with him… While there, the boy points to a display and asks “What are those, Daddy?” “Those are condoms, son, they help prevent babies from being born.” “But daddy,” says the boy,” that package says it has 3. Who would need that many?” “Well son, that’s…