A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a business card, wrote ‘Revelation 3:20’ on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the…
An attractive woman is in bed with her secret lover. She hears her husband come home unexpectedly and tells her naked lover to jump into the wardrobe and hides his clothes. The husband walks into the bedroom to find his wife reading. “Hello honey, I got off work early and went to the gym, I…
Patriotism A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital. “How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die,” the soldier said. The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier’s patriotism and said, “I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if…
11 yr old nephew told me this. A bus full of 50 ugly people crashed and everyone died and went to heaven. Saint Peter decided that since their deaths were so violent, he would grant them all one wish before going to heaven. The first person wished to finally be attractive, and the last person…
A lady walks into a store and asks where the XL condoms at kept… A lady walks into a store and asks where the XL condoms are kept. The manager sends her off to the family planning section. After ten minutes, the manager takes routine a walk around the store, to check on things. He…
An escort goes to the hospital She is a few hours away from getting a heart transplant and quite nervous. She asks the surgeon, “Doctor, what if my body rejects it?” The surgeon replies, “Well, you’re in good health apart from your heart. What do you do for a living?” She shyly admits, “Um, actually…
A man and his wife went on vacation to Israel, his mother-in-law decided to go, too. One night on the trip, the mother-in-law died of a heart attack. The couple visited a local undertaker who said that it would cost $1500 to take the woman’s body back to the US. “However,” said the undertaker, “We…
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working… …and asks him, “Daddy, what’s sex?” So, her father sits her down and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections and wet-dreams….
A Little Girl Catches Her Parents Having Sex One night, a little girl decides to peek inside her parent’s bedroom. She is shocked by what she sees, for she catches a glimpse of mommy bouncing up and down on top of daddy. That very next morning, she asks her mom, “Mommy, why were you hopping…
A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood. First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, “That’s maple.” They then…