What hurts the worst? A very pregnant woman walks into a bar with her girlfriends and orders a diet coke. “Did you know that childbirth isn’t nearly as painful as it is for a man to get kicked in the balls?” the bartender asks the woman. “What?” The woman exclaims. “How can you say that?…
The wife’s check-up A young wife, lamenting her husband’s recent lack of passion, thought that the best way to arouse his dormant interest would be to shock him into jealousy. “Darling,” she purred one night, “during my check-up with our dermatologist today, he said that I had the smoothest skin, a flawless face, perfectly-sized well-rounded…
A young man and his date were parked… … on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing….
A lady goes to the doctor for help with her sex life… Doctor: Give your husband viagra. Lady: I can’t, he hates pills. Doctor: Just put it in his coffee. Next week she returns, unhappy. Doctor: Was it good? Lady: It was the worst sex I ever had. He had a few sips of coffee,…
Three men are chatting when the first says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber. “I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe.” “I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician,” says the second. “I went home last night, and what…
Newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time . He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. “What happened to you feet?” his wife asked. “I had a childhood disease called tolio.” “Don’t you mean polio?” “No, tolio, it only affects the…
One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spots an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolls to a stop at the curb, a figure leaps into the cab and slams the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulls away, he is startled to see…
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says “We need to find a faster way to get home.” The next day, they come to…
An old man walks into a bar…. He sees a sign that says, “Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.” Checking his wallet for the cash, he walks up to the bar and beckons to a gorgeous blonde serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile,…
A blonde got tired of blonde jokes… One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know…