A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “David, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she…
An old fellow walking down the road and sees a frog sitting in the grass. The frog says… “Hey there if you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman for ya.” The old man picks up the frog and puts it in his shirt pocket and keeps on down the road. About a…
A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as…
Why was the redhead in so much pain? A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more….
25th anniversary A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?” The husband replied, “All I wanted…
A man is getting married… …to a woman named Wendy and, as a surprise, he has her name tattooed on his penis, but when he’s not hard, it just reads “wy”. The wedding comes and goes and they go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. While using the bathroom one day, the man happens to notice…
So a naked woman walks into a bar and asks for a beer… The bartender stares at her body from head to toe then serves her a beer. She drinks it and asks for another beer. The bartender stares at her for longer and serves her a second beer. The woman again drinks it and…
My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. “How are you mate?” “Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.” I went upstairs and found his two gorgeous 21 year old twin daughters lying naked on the bed. I…
Three nuns were talking… The first nun said, “I was cleaning the father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!” “What did you do?” the other nuns asked. “Well, of course I threw them all in the trash.” The second nun said, “Well, yesterday, I was…
A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school. “Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!” The mom replies, “That’s great honey!” Jenny then asks, “Is it because I’m blonde?” “Yes sweetie” says the mom. The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out…